Oh you knew this was coming, didn’t you? How can I keep a blog and not even dedicate a single post to my wonderful husband on our anniversary?
Happy anniversary to my a-dork-able husband! Thank you for making everyday a surprise – there’s just no boring day with you. I guess it’s cos we’re so different? It’s like learning something new about a person everyday. Sometimes it’s funny, sometimes it’s something that will make you go ‘awww’, and sometimes it’s something that will drive you bonkers (You have to see first hand how O.C. Alvin is – I think this is worthy of a separate post). But at the end of the day, we’re just crazy about each other.
One year into the marriage and we both learned a lot. I can honestly say that we’re both getting really good at all of this. Both of us learned how to adjust, when to give way and when to push for what you want (nicely, of course), and to communicate properly. Yeah, communication. You can’t just expect your partner to read your mind and go with everything that you want. No two people’s minds are exactly the same after all. Looking back, whenever we had a rough patch, it was never because we were mean on purpose or we were acting out of hate. The root of all our past fights is actually misunderstanding. Everything can be solved by a good talk as long as you don’t let your temper in to the picture. A difference in opinion can be subject for healthy debate (our favourite topics include Israel-Palestine, religion, and sometimes politics) and you shouldn’t let your feelings (no matter how strongly you feel about your side) get in the way.
When I met Alvin, he was reserved (an understatement). In the words of author (and fellow diplomat’s wife) Cherry Denman, “he has the stiffest upper-lip spread wide across his body”. Mrs Denman used that phrase to describe her husband Charlie in her book Diplomatic Incidents. Is that a diplomat thing? Maybe. But I’ve met some whose lips are not the least bit stiff – I shouldn’t be talking about that… for now. Haha!
Anyhoo, while Alvin was quite reserved, I was the exact opposite. I used to party a lot in college (which stopped when I became a journalist) and my favourite phrase was “open bar” (the drinking is still there to this day but a bit… tamed?). I believe Alvin and I were brought together to introduce new things to each other. I brought fun into his life and he brought peace and order into my chaotic existence.
Alvin now smiles more often (his resting bitch face/poker face is almost gone) and even makes funny faces. I laugh out loud at his crazy antics when we’re alone and his jokes. Yes, colleagues of Alvin. He makes extra funny ones and when he makes a funny comment, you’re guaranteed to get a fall-off-your-chair kind of laugh. I guess someone just needed to get it out of him? He’s also more showy about his feelings, something he didn’t do before we got together. It makes my heart swell to see how proud he is of what we have.
These days my drinking is kept to a safe level and my life is a whole lot quieter. Well, sort of. We’re still busy with embassy activities and my path to being a domesticated diva (something I never thought I’d end up to be) but at the end of the day, when it’s just the two of us on our couch with him massaging my feet and giving me kisses while we watch The Amazing Race, we’re content and happy.
Before, I wasn’t thinking of getting married. I thought the quiet life was boring. But it turns out, all it takes is to have the right person with you and everyday is an adventure. Thank you for being you, Alvin. A husband who takes leaps and risks (both big and small) just to put a smile on my face. Thank you for taking care of me when I’m sick – like now. I’m down with a very bad flu while writing this and my husband’s been buying me meds and food during his lunch break (I usually cook for him at home or we meet for mini lunch dates) and he’s now out doing the groceries right after a long day at work to get me some yogurt and orange juice. To think that we didn’t get enough sleep after arriving from our weekend trip at 4am this morning. And yes, he still went to work at 8am. He’s just so good in making me feel like a princess without smothering me.
Smothering is a nightmare for women like me who never saw themselves as a damsel in distress. I am perfectly capable of killing my own dragons, but I wouldn’t mind having someone to do it with. 😉
My husband is also extremely smart. Give him any country and he’ll tell you it’s capital and a bit about its history and culture. He practically has an encyclopaedia stored in his brain. He did admit that he used to read it for fun as a child. However, my husband is never proud. He is humble and he doesn’t put other people down. He is helpful, thinks about the welfare of other people, and he is very secure with himself and I love that about him. In fact, it makes me respect him even more.
I’m lucky to be in a marriage where both our opinions are of equal value (even though we come from a patriarchal society). From the colour of our throw pillows to his career.
I’ll keep this short as you people might go blahhh over the cheese. But I guess this is just my way of making the world jealous of how lucky and loved I am. 😉 But seriously – sometimes, I look at this guy just to wonder what kind of good I did to end up with him. ❤
Here’s to more crazy adventures and butterfly-filled tummies with you, baby.