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In-Laws

in Diplomatic Incidents, Expat Life, Hacks, How-Tos, KL Home, KL Tips, Kuala Lumpur

Having The In-Laws Over (8 Tips on How to Survive Their Visit)

I’m back!

My in-laws have just left for the airport along with the husband’s aunt and uncle. Hugs were exchanged and reminders were made. A truckload of unsolicited yet welcome advice (and they were actually good to keep in mind) for a lasting marriage were given. There were a teeny bit of tears (though I won’t say who cried *wink,wink*) and “please come back soons”.

The past two weeks we had them over were fun (we got to show them around KL and Singapore) but very tiring nonetheless. So here I am, just a couple of hours after they left, sitting on our couch and munching on M&Ms. I refuse to move from this spot and I am just listening to the sound of my breathing. Everything is so quiet and now, I can relax. Wow. It feels totes foreign. Our home was filled with people for the past two weeks and now it’s back to normal.

Don’t get me wrong. I love having visitors and I love my in-laws. My husband’s family members have been nothing but nice to me. But you know how it is when you have visitors – it’s stressful. Even for my husband and they’re HIS actual parents and blood relatives. I guess it comes with the Filipino trait of being hospitable. We go out of our way to be very welcoming. Put it this way – you see those tourism slogans of other Asian countries who say that they’re also hospitable? Quadruple their hospitality and that’s the only time you’ll know that you’re getting treated the Filipino way. Have you ever heard of people letting visitors sleep in their bedroom while they camp out in the living room? No, Sorry. Alvin and I are not that hardcore. But a lot of Filipinos do that to make sure their guests are comfortable. And we don’t just do this for our families, we do it for friends and even acquaintances. So when we say we’re having guests over, I just know I’m gonna need at least a week to recuperate from all the traveling and tour guiding I’ve been doing.

While I’m lucky to have in-laws that are nice to me (my mother-in-law, a person I expected to make my life hell after seeing all those rom-coms is actually very motherly to me), I must admit that I was very anxious before their arrival and I’m sure most other married women there would agree. Whether your in-laws are loveable like mine or monsters from hell, it will always make you anxious to know that they’re coming. It’s like having VIPs as visitors.

I think my anxiety came from the urge to prove that I’m taking good care of their son and our home, despite us living alone abroad. They know I didn’t grow up like most Filipina women do. I grew up trained to be a career woman and not a homemaker. So I guess I wanted to put all their worries to rest and give the impression that  “I got this.”

And I’m glad to say that I did it. Successfully, of course. I actually feel proud about this achievement and I’m pretty sure that Alvin’s parents left Malaysia loving me even more. I’m quite sure I left a good impression on his aunt and uncle too whom I met for the first time when they arrived here for their short vacation.

So here’s a random (and honest) list of just a couple of things I learned from this visit which I hope will help any anxious newlywed out there who’s having in-laws over for the first time:

1. Clean the house

A disorderly house means one thing to in-laws: You’re not taking care of your home well enough. If you have a day job, you might get away with the house not being close to perfect. Like having a scarf laid down on a console table or leaving the remote controls in the dining table. But make no mistake about it: The pressure is greater for the stay-at-home wife.

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in Diplomatic Incidents, Personal Musings

Just a short update: Touring The In-Laws

It’s been a couple of days since my last post and I was pretty bummed to break my one-post-a-day-for-three-days streak but wife/tour guide duties had to come first. My in-laws are in town until the 20th! 🙂

I’ve been taking them around the city by myself during weekdays while my husband is working at the embassy then he joins our ‘tours’ during weekends. It’s been great so far. My mother-in-law spoils the hell out of me. Just a little more and my husband might just get jealous for real. 😛

However, I do miss my alone time when I actually do get to write (it’s usually a weekday thing while my husband is at work). Or maybe, I’ll have one of those free days. You know, a day where I don’t have to go out at all and I can just sit on our couch while I watch Madam Secretary and The Newsroom episodes and I munch on Ruffles Sour Cream & Cheddar chips. Sounds really lazy and not me but hey. Maybe it’s fun to try doing nothing for a change. Haha! After the 20th, I intend to have that much needed break.

Huuuuuuge buddha statue at the Chin Swee Caves Temple near Genting Highlands. It was so cold that day! Not to mention windy. I was freezing my butt off while we were taking photos! LOL.

So far, they’re happy to see that life in KL is good. It’s an extremely expat-friendly city after all. Wowed them with my baking skills on they day they arrived, even. #WifeIt, I say!

I mean, really. Why do people always assume I can’t whip up something edible? LOL. Well, it’s prolly because my grandmother has been peddling the story that I was never the domesticated type. But really, Alvin and I have been doing pretty well on our own and the folks are pleasantly surprised (or should I say relieved?). 😉

My husband, being extremely OC and all, drew up the perfect itinerary which has been very helpful. So far, we’ve been going on a slow pace but the in-laws are definitely enjoying themselves. We go to one to two places in KL that are near to each other per day – just enough to see a chunk of the city without tiring them too much.

The slow pace is something that I’m not really used to, actually.

Alvin and I travel efficiently when we do it together. We’re not the type to loiter in one place or the kind of tourists that take too many pictures (even repeating some shots over and over and getting in the way of other tourists– ugh). We’re actually able to cover a lot of places during most of our travels which is just one of the things I love about travelling with him. He plans everything down to the train routes and stops, while I’m more of a wanderlust/anything-goes/smell-the-roses type who still walks and moves quite fast so we achieve a perfect balance by being together. He tends to go too fast at times, though and I’m the one who reminds him to chill for a sec and enjoy more. Typical me.

Mornings are spent with heavy breakfast (Rice or if no rice, a tonne of white bread!), a Filipino practice which isn’t really healthy and I’ve been trying to avoid for Alvin and I by serving cereal, wheat bread, yogurt, and some milk or fresh juice during mornings. But alas, it’s impossible to stop Filipino mothers from taking over the kitchen.

My father-in-law took a photo of Alvin and I outside Istana Negara, the old palace of the Agong which was turned into a museum. Such a luxurious home! Btw, yes. Those are red Keds. The Taylor Swift kind. 😉

My mom-in-law’s also cooking lunch today! Woohoo! Though I love cooking as a hobby, I can’t imagine myself cooking meals 2-3 times a day. That makes it a chore already and would take all the fun out of it! So I welcome all the help and am letting her have her fun in my kitchen for the next couple of days more. Heehee. I’ll just put Alvin on a diet once they leave. 😉

We’re off to Singapore again this weekend and will be welcoming Alvin’s aunt and uncle from Canada on the 17th so we’ll be having a pretty full house till the 20th and I’ll prolly be busy hauling them from one tourist spot to another. Tour guide practice, anyone? 😉

More later.

Love,

Carol

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